Trapped

Tracked 6/22/97 by
Longsynth5a.Not
Pirate Pete, the
warble
Christian Privateer.
1sh.sam (no header)

padpadbd (no header)
"Trapped" refers to
paukeandcrash
the way I felt when my
d20-cymbalhit5
13-yr-old daughter Amy
chord, min
came to visit me, June
almar1.sam (no header)
16th-22nd, 1997.
synth "wo"

snaredr4.sam (no heade
She made my life hell.
Trumpet, high, short

belwind4.sam (no heade
I suppose she thinks
she had a right.  You
see, I abandoned her
when she was 2 yrs
old.  In the 11 years
that has passed, not
a day has gone by
without me thinking of
her, awash in guilt
over my grevious sin.
I contacted her by
phone twice a year,
once on her birthday
and once on Christmas.
Paltry offerings of
love, yet I always
let her know how much
I loved her.  I sent
what money I could,
but never enough to
fully meet my total
child support
obligation.   This,
combined with feelings
of resentment and
anger over her aband-
onment, caused her to
lash out at me in the
only way she knew how-
by rejecting my offer
of love when she met
me face-to-face for
the first time.

I understand all of
this on an intellect-
ual level, but I was
unprepared for the
extent of emotional
devastation that her
visit would bring me.

I only hope this visit
has been a catharsis
for her.  May it help
heal the hurt I've
caused her.